Caught Between A Rock And A Cold One (Drinking The Global Economic Crisis Away) ~ Words For Moolah

Caught Between A Rock And A Cold One (Drinking The Global Economic Crisis Away)

Experienced investors say this would be a good year to put in some cash in businesses involving alcohol.

Before I continue I want to make it clear that I will not be held responsible for any losses to be incurred if you decide to invest in shares of Green Cross Rubbing Alcohol. Don’t get me wrong. Green Cross is a great brand much like the other popular brands of my youth such as Omega Painkiller and White Flower but I’m not talking about rubbing alcohol here. I’m not even sure if there are Green Cross stocks being traded at the Philippine Stock Exchange.

Anyway, I’ve read that some analysts are saying that, with the expected impact of the Global Economic Crisis, many people will turn to drinking this year. So much so that some coffee shops are now reportedly planning to phase out their Machiattos, Frappuccinos and other fancifully named concoctions in favor of fancifully named alcoholic drinks.

I can already hear it: “Bartender, I just lost a gazillion pesos. Give me a Flaming Bar of Soap on the rocks… and put in some ice please.”

I can also hear the cries of the coffee crowd. “Aaaahhhh! The horror! Life without Espresso? Run for your lives!”

Luckily for these caffeine addicts this is still just a rumor just like the persistent one about the Philippines having some kind of political exercise in the very near future.

At this point, whether or not the Global Economic Crisis would indeed turn many social drinkers and innocent bystanders into drunkards is still pretty much anybody’s guess. However, I do know of some people who are already ahead of the anticipated curve.

My sources say these are employees of a company involved in solar energy or, maybe it was, Sun-dried pumpkin seeds. In any case, these employees were recently given the option of availing of the wine stock left unconsumed during their most recent company Christmas party. Apparently, this is part of a company campaign to promote healthy drinking. The company even came out with a health advisory to remind the employees not to overdo it. The advisory read: “Drink in moderation. The cost of the wine will be deducted from your salaries.”

From what I’ve been told, these employees could really use a drink, no, make that many drinks since they haven’t been receiving all their salaries and benefits for some time now. And, we all know nothing works better at lifting a tired, hapless worker’s spirit than having a cold one. That and actually getting paid for his or her work.

Should the crisis turn out to be as bad as some pundits say it would – massive layoffs, diminished purchasing power, smelly underwear, fireballs falling from the sky – then, these wine drinking employees are already at an advantage. They already have the headstart in the mad rush for some good ole’ alcohol induced stupor.



  1. Paul Farol said,

    Great post!

    on January 7, 2009 at 8:35 PM