Words For Moolah

The Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office expects the 6/49 SuperLotto jackpot to hit at least P320 Million by Sunday. That's one big load of cash. This early I'm already thinking of how I would secure myself should I win the big prize. It wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

I imagine that winning P320million pesos would probably cause me to froth in the mouth, keel over, and go into some sort of epileptic seizure. Witnesses, particularly those who know me, would probably suspect then that I had hit the jackpot. That is likely because I've been saying all this time that I will probably have these symptoms if and when I do win the lottery.

I probably won't mind the initial embarrasment, however, I'm pretty sure the thought of being exposed as the P320 Million Man would make me paranoid.

"Is that burly man giving me the evil eye?"
"Is that a surveillance camera?"
"Why is that baby staring at me?"

Redeeming my winning lottery ticket would obviously be a big problem. Who knows what goes on when a lottery winner walks in at the PCSO office. Will they take a picture of me holding up a larger-than-life check with the figure "P320,000,000.00" painted in big, bold, highlighted typeface? Will they make me sign my real name on a voucher or receipt?

Thoughts like these are exactly the reason why I think I should be ready with a disguise. That way I can go claim my prize incognito. I've actually thought up a neat disguise, which for obvious reasons, I will not divulge. But I will say it will involve some prosthetics, heavy metalworks and a piece of fruit.

There is however one big problem that I haven't figured out yet. What if they tell me that the giant check is the check?